Choleric

Saw this, made me laugh...



1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to.
No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & feed lots. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us.
Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $200,000 combines that are driven
only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand.
You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant/deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday
to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. We say Thank you, You're welcome
and God Bless, etc.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the chef's salad and pick off
the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce. Oh, yeah...we don't care what you folks in Malibu call that stuff you eat...we
call it a Runza or a Rueben. Both originated in Nebraska.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into
my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. The "Huskers" and High School Football/Baseball/Volleyball/Basketball/Track/Wrestling/Softball - are as
important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a whole lot more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses, but don't hit the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Wayne, Chadron, York or a bunch a'others. They come outta there
with an education plus a love for country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. So just wave if you are a NEBRASKAN...................... Always remember what Gen. Eisenhower once said:
"Nebraska can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Nebraska."

Curb Zone

 

Hypersonic

LOL ...very good Jeff.

Bruce

Good stuff. Especially because it reminds me of Alberta.

Choleric

Just an FYI, though they may be true, I only abide by a few of those. Those are the rules for out in the country. This is more of a joke to me.

Hypersonic

^ ah...so you're not a true midwestern "country boy" eh Jeff?

The Diva

Hey Jeff:

I'm a transplanted New Yorker, I adhere to some my self

And yes, VERY VERY funny!

Thanks for sharing

Choleric

No.

I was born and raised in a city of close to 1million people.

I still do some things out in the country though; hunt, fish etc...

and I love my state, and would not mind living here the rest of my life, particularly somewhere out in the country.

Curb Zone