The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim)

Bruce · 11-05-2007, 05:48 PM

5. Britney Spears

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet

Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.

4. Madonna

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle

Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.

3. Sandra Oh

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy

Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.

2. Amy Winehouse

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband

Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, "Nooo, nooo, nooo!"

1. Sarah Jessica Parker

Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas

Why She´s Unsexy: How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with "sex" in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.

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The Emperor · 11-05-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with "sex" in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth.

That made my day!

Bruce · 11-06-2007, 12:13 PM

Yeah man. Truly hilarious.

I've always hated SJP. When people tell me they think she's good looking, my eyes almost always pop put of my head.

ree · 11-06-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce

Yeah man. Truly hilarious.

I've always hated SJP. When people tell me they think she's good looking, my eyes almost always pop put of my head.

But there are so many men, who really like her....

Bruce · 11-06-2007, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree

But there are so many men, who really like her....

Yeah, it's true.

Idiots! Lol.

The Emperor · 11-06-2007, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce

I've always hated SJP. When people tell me they think she's good looking, my eyes almost always pop put of my head.

I'm with you! She ain't attractive at all.

Matt · 11-06-2007, 11:42 PM

totally agree on SJP-actually i agree on all of them-britney should stay away from the spot light until she undergoes some surgery, therapy and most importantly....exercise.

Hypersonic · 11-08-2007, 07:50 AM

LOL, SJP ...that is a really bad picture of her too. I have heard many commentators say she is a genuinely nice person ....so I don't want to be too mean.

Amy Winehouse is nasty .....she is a good singer though.

giljo · 11-29-2007, 04:33 AM

Hello All (noob here)

Great to see like minded people on a forum........although Madonna in her day had a great pair!!

The Emperor · 11-29-2007, 04:42 AM

Welcome to CurbZone!

Feel free to introduce yourself HERE and tell us a bit more about yourself.

Enjoy your stay!

11-05-2007, 05:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bruce Crazy Canadian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: British Columbia Posts: 9,450 My Mood: Thanks: 3,577 Thanked 2,871 Times in 1,761 Posts Blog Entries: 2	The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) 5. Britney Spears Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge. 4. Madonna Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes. 3. Sandra Oh Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible. 2. Amy Winehouse Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, "Nooo, nooo, nooo!" 1. Sarah Jessica Parker Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas Why She´s Unsexy: How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with "sex" in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we´d rather ride Chris Noth. >> - ONLY REGISTERED AND ACTIVATED USERS CAN SEE ALL LINKS - CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

11-06-2007, 12:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
Bruce Crazy Canadian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: British Columbia Posts: 9,450 My Mood: Thanks: 3,577 Thanked 2,871 Times in 1,761 Posts Blog Entries: 2	Re: The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) Yeah man. Truly hilarious. I've always hated SJP. When people tell me they think she's good looking, my eyes almost always pop put of my head.

11-06-2007, 11:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
Matt Devotee Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 2,882 Thanks: 210 Thanked 130 Times in 88 Posts	Re: The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) totally agree on SJP-actually i agree on all of them-britney should stay away from the spot light until she undergoes some surgery, therapy and most importantly....exercise.

11-08-2007, 07:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
Hypersonic Connoisseur Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 5,528 Thanks: 1,029 Thanked 852 Times in 524 Posts	Re: The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) LOL, SJP ...that is a really bad picture of her too. I have heard many commentators say she is a genuinely nice person ....so I don't want to be too mean. Amy Winehouse is nasty .....she is a good singer though.

11-29-2007, 04:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
giljo Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) Hello All (noob here) Great to see like minded people on a forum........although Madonna in her day had a great pair!!

11-29-2007, 04:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
The Emperor Bionic Jive Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Where noone has gone before... Posts: 9,148 My Mood: Thanks: 1,412 Thanked 1,575 Times in 954 Posts	Re: The Five Unsexiest Women Alive (Maxim) Welcome to CurbZone! Feel free to introduce yourself HERE and tell us a bit more about yourself. Enjoy your stay!

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