The Stupid Jokes Thread

[NarutoRamen]

Here...I got a dumb one for you guys.

Rejected Children's Book Titles

1. Some Kittens Can Fly

2. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

3. Grandpa Gets a Casket

4. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

5. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

[NarutoRamen]

Wait I got another one.

A first-time father takes his baby to the doctor. "Doc, I can't figure out what's wrong with him. He doesn't stop crying."

It only takes the doctor a second to see what is wrong. "Here’s your problem," says the doctor. "This baby’s in serious need of a diaper change."

Looking baffled, the man replies, "But the package says it’s good for eight to 10 pounds!"

[The Diva]

An Atom to his Atom friend:

Atom 1 -Oh my God! I think I lost an electron

Atom 2- Are you sure?

Atom 1- Yes, I'm positive!

[NarutoRamen]

^^ha ha ha...that is a stupid joke!

[Va Va Voom]

Two blonds walk into a bar

you would of thought one of the noticed

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.


Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Sorry if there are any blonds reading this, it's only true

[The Diva]

Here's a quick test for you to take.

This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers


Are you male or female?


Look Down
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Look down! not scroll down!!

[The Emperor]

Lol, that's a good one...

[DaSilva]

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Border Policeman stops them and tells them "It'sa illegal to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Idiot! Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.

"Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons."

"You canta pull thata one on me!" replies the policeman. "Quattro meansa four. You hava five peoples ina your car and you are therefore breaka the law."

The German driver replies angrily, "Schweinhund! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone mit more intelligence!"

"I'ma Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

[The Emperor]

Ahahahaha! Heard that one, but loooong time ago...

Thanks, Julius!

[Choleric]

A woman was shopping at the local supermarket and had selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of green leaf lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
'You must be single.'

She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at the six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about the
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: 'Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly. '